Burt Prelutsky
Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky, who lives in the San Fernando Valley with his wife Yvonne and dog Angel, has a long and distinguished writing career that includes newspapers, magazines, and TV. He is also the author of “Conservatives Are From Mars, Liberals Are From San Francisco,” “Liberals: America’s Termites” and, recently, “Barack Obama, You’re Fired!” and a collection of interviews, “67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die,” which includes the likes of Paul Ryan, Newt Gingrich, Gary Sinise, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Michael Medved, Joseph Wambaugh, John Bolton, Lee Greenwood, Charles Krauthammer, Phyllis Shlafly, David Limbaugh, Bernard Goldberg, and the three Pats: Boone, Sajak, and Robertson.

Stories by Burt Prelutsky

By Burt Prelutsky | October 6, 2013 | 0 Comments

I often feel like one of those lumberjacks we used to see in the newsreels, trying to knock a competing lumberjack off a spinning log.  The foolishness comes at us so rapidly that trying to stay on top of it all before we wind up in the drink is too much for one man.

That’s why when the opportunity presents itself, I like to delegate responsibility.  So it’s with a sense of gratitude, I acknowledge that when Melanie Campbell, one of …

By Burt Prelutsky | October 5, 2013 | 0 Comments

Charles Dickens famously opened “A Tale of Two Cities” with “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.”  If I were writing an updated version, I would announce it is the worst of times.  Wherever you turn, you are confronted by journalists, politicians, and just plain folks who make you ashamed to be a member of the same species.

These days, America is divided between the useful idiots who believe everything they read in the NY Times …

By Burt Prelutsky | September 23, 2013 | 3 Comments

Let it be understood that I don’t want to be president, and for a variety of reasons.  For one thing, I don’t like pomp.  At state dinners, I would probably fall asleep even before the soup plates were cleared away.  For another, I don’t like dressing up.  I don’t recall the last time I wore a necktie, and the next time will probably be at my funeral, when I won’t have any say in the matter and I won’t have …

By Burt Prelutsky | September 17, 2013 | 10 Comments

Now that we know that a few of the people who will try to move in to the White House in 2017 are Hillary Clinton, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz and Chris Christie, it appears to be time already to lecture my fellow conservatives on the political facts of life.

For openers, we are not a majority.  Not in the nation and not even in the GOP.  So let me point out that all the inevitable talk about breaking away …

By Burt Prelutsky | September 16, 2013 | 0 Comments

Because I do my level best to avoid liberals, most of the political arguments I get into are with my fellow conservatives.  As a rule, it comes down to my being willing to vote for any Republican on the general ballot.  In the primaries, I will always favor the one furthest to the right.  But if he or she loses, I will vote for the last Republican standing.

The folks I argue with are the ones who would rather sit out …

By Burt Prelutsky | September 15, 2013 | 0 Comments
Protesters rally to protest against the U.S. government's response to the deaths of four Americans during an Islamist militant attack on a U.S. diplomatic compound in Benghazi, in Washington

Who would have ever guessed that Vladimir Putin would pull Obama’s chestnuts out of the fire?  Nothing else could have saved Obama from having Congress deny him the green light to attack Syria.

Ironically, even though I opposed hitting Syria unless it was going to be with a nuke, for staking out a position and sticking to it in spite of massive opposition in his own party, I rather admired Obama.  It was the first time I can recall that he …

By Burt Prelutsky | September 14, 2013 | 12 Comments

It’s been twelve years since the Islamic faithful inadvertently brought down the twin towers.  I say inadvertently because nobody was more surprised than Osama bin Laden when jet planes crashed into the tops of New York skyscrapers and brought the buildings tumbling down.  Because he had no idea how thousands of gallons of burning jet fuel would work on steel girders, he had only imagined he would send a message by murdering a few hundred office workers and airplane passengers.

For …

By Burt Prelutsky | September 13, 2013 | 0 Comments

From 1928 through 1945, “Quick, Henry, the Flit!” was the tagline in ads for a popular insecticide.  Interestingly, Theodor Geisel did the original artwork, which typically showed people being menaced by large whimsical-looking critters.  Mr. Geisel went on to graduate from a make-believe medical school and become better known as Dr. Seuss.

I swear, every time I see a politician on TV, especially one who insists on calling himself a public servant, I find myself reaching for …

By Burt Prelutsky | September 12, 2013 | 1 Comment

At Sea in a Leaky Rowboat

Every day, in just about every way, the world keeps getting spookier.  Not necessarily in a Stephen King/Dean Koontz kind of spooky way, but more in a Three Stooges nonsensical sort of way.

For instance, we had to replace a dishwasher recently.  We went to Sears, got a Kenmore, and a couple of days later a guy delivered and installed it.  That’s certainly the way the system is supposed to work.  But a few days later, …

By Burt Prelutsky | September 9, 2013 | 0 Comments

As I sit here, apparently everyone in Washington, D.C. is mulling over what to do about Syria.  For my part, I’m mulling over what to do about Washington, D.C.  It just seems to me that America has fallen and can’t get up.

I know that I am expected to be up in arms over chemical weapons being employed by Bashar al-Assad, assuming that the intelligence is better now than it was prior to the Iraq invasion.  But I have never understood …