Things I’ve Been Thinking About

| September 4 2013
Burt Prelutsky

In spite of the fact that the Democrats have been the reason that so many cities and states, not to mention the nation at large, are in such dire financial straits, there are only a dozen states that boast two Republican senators and a Republican governor.

You do have to wonder why anyone would vote for someone who seems to think socialism is preferable to capitalism or why they would continue to elect politicians who don’t even pretend to negotiate seriously with public sector unions.  We all know, or should know by now, that they merely go through the motions while, in reality, using the negotiations as a way to line up volunteers and guarantee themselves campaign contributions in exchange for our tax dollars.

I mean, places like Detroit don’t simply happen.  They are the inevitable result of electing Democratic mayors and city councilmen decade after decade.  If you keep eating Twinkies, you’ll get fat.  If you keep electing left-wingers, you’ll go bust.

There are a great many people in this country who still believe that Obama is as popular as he was in 2009.  They are totally unaware that his numbers in the polls are sinking nearly as fast as Anthony Weiner’s.  The reason for this is that he spends all his time in venues that are more tightly controlled than nuclear missile silos.  It’s reminiscent of the days when every sit com, no matter how inane, came with a carefully calibrated laugh track, offering everything from giggles to guffaws.

The idea was that even if the script didn’t elicit laughs in the home audience, the laughter of others would persuade them that they were having a very jolly time.  In the case of Obama, the idea is that even if the folks at home can’t find a job and are worried sick about what the Affordable Care Act is going to do to their health care, if they see all those mooks on stage sitting behind Obama and clapping on cue, he can’t be doing too lousy a job.

With the arrival of the new English prince, my thoughts naturally went to the royal family.  For a long time, I felt sorry for the Queen.  Between her blood relatives and her in-laws, it seemed as if not a day went by when one of those monkeys wasn’t embarrassing her with their foolish antics.  But she merely carried on with a stiff upper lip in the English tradition.  That’s the advantage of being raised from birth to be a queen.

In the U.S., we have our own form of royalty, but they’re movie stars, divas and politicians.  In some cases, they’re merely people who came up with a money-making idea, such as the social network.  But suddenly they’re no longer poor and anonymous.  The problem is that nobody has prepared them for fame and fortune, so, often, they tend to act up.  They may have been jerks before, but nobody outside their little circle knew them.  Now, every day we are force-fed their addictions, their perversions and their run-of-the-mill jerkiness.

One of the things I’ve always wondered about is how the nouveau riche ever get accustomed to having servants around all the time.  If you’re the Queen of England, it’s how you were raised.  But how do people who were slinging hash or driving a taxi yesterday deal with it today?  I acknowledge I’m not typical, but I can barely stand to have friends in the house.  I can’t imagine having strangers hovering about, puffing up pillows and pretending not to eavesdrop.

A friend sent me a joke which served to remind me why I’m so glad that when my family decided to leave Chicago when I was six years old, they decided to take me along: “I was in Scottsdale, Arizona, the other day when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read ‘I miss Chicago.’  So I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama/Biden in 2012 sticker, and left a note that read: ‘I hope this helps.’”

This afternoon, I heard a talk show host predict that the GOP is so fractured that there’s no way that we have any chance of winning in 2016.  He said that while Marco Rubio, Rand Paul and Chris Christie, all have sizable factions supporting them, no single candidate could possibly unite the Party.

I beg to differ.  I believe there’s one: Hillary Clinton.

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