Prelutsky: Rumors, Riddles & Rebuttals

| August 26 2013
Burt Prelutsky

I’ve heard that a five million dollar class action lawsuit has been filed here in California on behalf of those people who purchased copies of Lance Armstrong’s autobiography in which he swore that he had never used performance-enhancing drugs.  Their claim is based on the fact that when they purchased the book, it was represented by the subject and his publisher to be non-fiction.

lance-armstrong-anna_hansen_vanity_fair_oscarsI am not a member of the lawsuit because I didn’t buy the book, having no interest whatsoever in the life of a professional bicyclist.  Perhaps my interest would have been piqued if he’d won all those races riding a unicycle or while juggling dishes, but that’s pretty much the same reason I gave Obama’s memoirs a wide berth.

However, I pray the litigants win their multi-million dollar judgment.   What an earth-shattering precedent it would set if every two-bit politician who decides, like Obama, to attach his name to a ghost-written book knew that his self-aggrandizing lies could wind up biting him in the wallet.

I keep hearing from readers taking me to task over my defense of the NSA, which essentially came down to my insistence that if their monitoring of phone calls between Yemen and Omaha could prevent another 911 or Boston massacre, we should be cheering the agency on.  Anyone who believes that their phone numbers are somehow protected by the Constitution has apparently never received a call from a telemarketer.

As I see it, anyone who has concluded that the NSA is corrupt just because the IRS and the Justice Department are, is as silly as someone assuming that the IRS and Eric Holder are doing a great job just because the NSA seems to be.

While Obama likes to pretend that the economy is on the road to recovery simply because the unemployment rate has dropped to 7.4%, he naturally chooses to ignore the fact that as a result of his policies, the bureaucratic zealots at the EPA and the misnamed Affordable Care Act, the actual rate — if those who have dropped out of the work force or have had to settle for part-time employment are included — is a staggering 14.3%.

Another case of economic legerdemain is performed on a daily basis by those who keep reporting on record highs being achieved by the stock market.  If the Federal Reserve ever stops pumping Monopoly money into the system, the result will remind old-timers of the crash that took place in October, 1929.

The only statistic that warms the cockles of my heart is the 16.1% unemployment rate among millennials, the $50 dollar word they’ve concocted to describe people in their 20s.  So far as I’m concerned, they deserve to be sentenced to a lifetime in their parents’ basement for having trooped out last November and cast 70% of their votes for the incumbent, aka The Cool Dude.

Speaking of which, in his attempt to increase the number of Democratic voters, Obama has not only decided to stop prosecuting drug dealers, but is encouraging Mexican aliens to claim political asylum in the U.S., even going so far as to pick up the tab for their hotel rooms in San Diego.

In the past, such asylum has only been granted to those who actually feared reprisal from the likes of Stalin, Hitler, Mao and Castro.  If Obama is going to play this nasty partisan game, I want the Republicans in Congress to demand that Obama go on record, condemning Mexico for violating human rights.

A friend of mine pointed out that we have been constantly lectured by the liberals in Washington and the media not to judge all Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, while, on the other hand, we are encouraged by the likes of Obama, Holder, Feinstein, Schumer and Biden, to condemn all gun owners for the actions of a tiny number of loons.

Finally, to paraphrase Shakespeare, what fools some of these mortals be!  Even after Al Gore and his fellow hucksters were forced by cooling temperatures to change “global warming” to “climate change” in order to keep the money and research grants rolling in, we continue to hear those on the left demanding that the coal industry be shut down and the Keystone pipeline be scuttled.

You can hardly come up with a better example of human arrogance.  Imagine believing we human beings have the power to control the earth’s climate when we can’t even deal with a single cyclone or hurricane except by cowering in a cellar until Mother Nature, in her own good time, decides to move it along or let it blow itself out.

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