Apocalypse Now

| August 20 2013
Burt Prelutsky

We live in very weird times.  How weird?  I recently heard that atheists are insisting that the U.S. Navy accept atheist chaplains into its ranks.  What on earth would their function be, you ask?  I can’t imagine, unless there really are sailors who would find comfort in being assured as they go into combat that there’s no God and no afterlife.  I had long heard that there were no atheists in foxholes, and assumed the rule held true for fighting men aboard ships.

Surely of all the world’s religions, not even Islam is as bizarre as atheism.

obamageddonAnd of all the professions, none is as bizarre as politics.  In what other field could the likes of Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Henry Waxman, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Sheila Jackson Lee, reach the top?

Not even the egos to be found in show business are as huge as those carted around by politicians.  Even someone as disgusting as Anthony Weiner continues to assert he is the only person fit to run New York City.  Even though Michael Bloomberg set a very low standard, it’s impossible to picture Weiner as the indispensable man.

What is it, anyway, with people like Weiner, 48, and Geraldo Rivera, 70, that convinces them that for no other reason than that they’re skinny, they’re hunky heartthrobs.  Someone at Fox News should whisper in Rivera’s ear that 70 really isn’t the new 50.  In some cases, including San Diego’s lecherous mayor, Bob Filner, it’s clearly the new 15.

On my recent webcast, I went after John Boehner in no uncertain terms, accusing him of being a milquetoast.  I readily acknowledge there’s no sin in being civil.  In fact, in most cases, it’s a virtue.  But not when you’re the majority leader of the House and the other side keeps accusing Republicans of every sin from racism to bestiality.

When in the wake of the Benghazi massacre, the targeting of conservatives by the IRS and snooping on AP reporters and Fox’s James Rosen, Obama and his sock puppet Jay Carney keep referring to “phony scandals,” the majority leader’s job is to go for their throats, not to be overly concerned whether he and Mrs. Boehner will be invited to the White House Christmas bash.

I am also sick and tired of hearing Republican politicians speak longingly of compromising with liberals.  How many times will they allow themselves to be bamboozled?  There is no way to compromise with people who want to expand government; set ObamaCare in concrete; subsidize green industry/Obama’s cronies with our tax dollars; and turn a blind eye to a $17 trillion debt.  You reach across the aisle with these schmucks and they cut off your arm.

One other piece of advice to these congenital morons: Stop reading the damn New York Times!  Your constituents don’t.  In fact the only people who do are your liberal colleagues, for whom it serves as a secular missal.

Just remember that leading up to the 2008 primaries, the Times insisted that John McCain would make a great president because he was so statesmanlike.  McCain, fool that he is, took it so much to heart, that he refused to even mention the role that Jeremiah Wright had played in Obama’s personal and political life and even went so far as to put the kibosh on any campaign ads that dared to mention the intimate link between the two rabid racists.

Speaking of he-who-should-be-impeached, I loved the joke that went viral recently suggesting that George Zimmerman change his name to Ben Ghazi so that Obama would never again mention him.

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