A Nation of Nannies & Julias

| March 25 2013
Burt Prelutsky

Last year, during the presidential campaign, Team Obama reached out to America’s single women by showing how a fictional woman named Julia only managed to make it from the cradle to the grave by depending at every turn on the largesse of the federal government.  And it worked so well that those women chose Obama over Romney by a huge margin.

Why is it, though, that I haven’t heard old-line feminists such as Gloria Steinem, Jane Fonda, Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and Rachel Maddow, taking young women to task?  I thought young women were supposed to build on all that empowerment that the ladies of NOW have been spewing for the past 40 years.  As I recall, Ms. Steinem insisted that women needed men the way a fish needs a bicycle.  Apparently that’s the case unless the man happens to reside in the White House.  In which case, all bets are off.  When they have a sugar daddy in the Oval Office, these powerful, glass ceiling-busting women can’t even manage to come up with $25-a-month to pay for their own birth control pills.

When I heard that New York City’s garden gnome of a mayor, Michael Bloomberg, wants to ban Styrofoam, my first thought was that Charles Krauthammer was right when he observed “A liberal is someone who doesn’t care what you do, so long as it’s mandatory.”  But he neglected to point out that it has to be made mandatory by a left-winger.

Bloomberg, who has already banished trans-fats, sugar, salt, cigarettes, guns and large containers of soda, from what used to be a sophisticated city — but has been turned into a burg filled with yokels under his leadership — also wants to increase the number of parking spaces for electric cars.  Just as an experiment, I’d like to see him ban toilet paper.  That might finally awaken New Yorkers to the fact that the only thing big about their mayor is the size of his Napoleonic complex.  But inasmuch as they already allowed him to get away with ignoring the two-term limit on mayors, my guess is that if the munchkin decided to add Charmin to his expanding list of contraband, the ninnies would let the nanny have his way.

These New Yorkers are barely human beings.  You can more easily compare them to sheep or lemmings.  That’s because no city in America has more self-identified liberals.  They’re the knuckleheads who ignore the fact that “global-warming” was morphed into “climate change” the minute things began to cool down, which is like a home plate umpire arbitrarily deciding that instead of four balls being a walk and three strikes constituting an out, he was going to make four strikes an out and three balls a walk.  So, naturally, these nitwits applaud Obama’s decision to do for weather what he’s already done for health care.

They’re the same folks who watch MSNBC and chuckled all 155 times in 24 hours that the network aired the moment when Marco Rubio, while delivering his rebuttal to Obama’s absurd State of the Union address, leaned over to grab a bottle of water.  These New York liberals are the same morons who nodded when Hillary Clinton told the congressional committee that it made no difference who killed Ambassador Stevens and his three colleagues.  And for good measure, they’re the same self-satisfied nincompoops who believe everything they read on the editorial page of the NY Times, and take pride in reading nothing else.

Obama used to say that the failing of the Constitution is that it failed to promote the redistribution of wealth.  For me, the failing of the Declaration of Independence is that it mentioned “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”  Unlike the Constitution, which dealt with specifics and did so with wisdom and clarity, the Declaration was high-sounding balderdash and vague, to boot.  It’s that “pursuit of Happiness” that opens the door to all sorts of nonsense.  For one person, it means government-funded — which means taxpayer funded — abortions, marijuana or cell phones for everyone who wants one, but doesn’t care to pay for his own; for another, it’s a lifetime’s worth of unemployment insurance and food stamps.

When I hear conservative talk show hosts urge other conservatives to never say anything insulting about Obama or the rabble who adore him, I’m reminded of an exchange in Donna Leon’s set-in-Venice mystery novel, “A Sea of Troubles.”  Referring to the inhabitants of a backward fishing village, a police sergeant says, “Pellestrinotti aren’t bright enough for something like that, anyway.” His superior, Commissario Brunetti, replies: “We’re not allowed to say things like that anymore.”  “Regardless of whether they’re true?” “No,” Brunetti admits, “because they’re true.”

But even worse are those conservatives who are always urging Tea Party members to break away from the GOP and form their own political party.  Each time I hear someone say something that stupid, I find myself wondering how much the Democrats are paying him.

Have these cheese heads never noticed that no matter how divided they may be on this issue or that one, liberals never split ranks?  Is there a conservative in America who thinks that if a unified GOP can’t elect a president, a group consisting only of disenchanted Republicans is going to have better luck?  How dumb does someone have to be not to recognize that all a third party would do is make it even easier for the Democrats to defeat us?

In the wake of ex-L.A. cop Christopher Dorner’s murderous rampage, it occurred to me that people who compose manifestos all appear to be whack jobs.  Although there may be exceptions, the three who leap to mind are Karl Marx, Ted Kaczynski (aka the Unabomber) and now Dorner.  So my advice is if you come across someone working on what he refers to as a manifesto, ask no questions.  Just hit him with a baseball bat and move on.

And, finally, I confess I have no idea why Fox News thinks they’re providing a public service by placing a megaphone in the hands of loons such as Juan Williams, Geraldo Rivera, Leslie Marshall, Marc Lamont Hill and Alan Colmes.  It stands to reason that if I wanted to hear left-wing drivel, I’d be tuned to MSNBC or CNN in the first place.  But at least, dumb as they are, those five loons are all presentable.  But what the heck is with Bob Beckel?  It’s not just that he’s dumb as a rock and always appears to be nursing a hangover.  But am I the only one who keeps expecting him to flick out his tongue and catch a fly?

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