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A Few Names in the News

Posted: May 19, 2012 at 12:45 pm   /   by

While I hate to destroy anyone’s delusions, I think it is high time that the RNC grew up and faced reality.  For openers, if this past primary season has taught us anything, it’s that the GOP needs to address its laundry list of mistakes.  One, they should do away with caucuses; if a state doesn’t wish to stage an actual primary for whatever reason, they should just sit it out.  Are you listening, Iowa?

Two, let’s put an end to open primaries.  Why would Republicans want Democrats helping to decide who our nominee is going to be?  Do you really think they have our best interests at heart?

Three, let’s stop putting Iowa and New Hampshire at the head of the parade.  In a general election, neither state is all that important, but because they come first, the nation has to focus on them for weeks, even months, at a time.  And no more punishing states like Florida and Michigan for wanting to move up the dates of their primaries.  Instead, have a start date; say January 15th, and then schedule all 50 primaries in 100 days, the order to be determined by a drawing.

As for the debates, limit them to half a dozen to be held between December 1st and the first primary, all to be conducted on Fox.  The only ground rule is that no candidate can attack a rival, but must simply stick to the issue in question.  If after the first couple of debates, a candidate is still polling in single digits, I suggest trimming the herd.  I mean, seriously, did anyone, including his daughters, ever really believe that Jon Huntsman was going to be the GOP nominee?

As long as I’m busy making rules, I would like to make a rule that nobody ever again be tried for a hate crime.  A crime is a crime, and whether the victim is a black, a Hispanic or a homosexual, should not make the punishment any more severe than if the victim is a WASP.  One can safely assume that every crime is hateful to the victim.  People who favor concentrating on “hate” rather than “crime” are the same noodle-heads who are unaware that “social justice” is an oxymoron.  Justice doesn’t call for adjectives.  Once they’re added on, it ceases to be justice, which is why Lady Justice is always pictured blindfolded and why Martin Luther King pleaded for a colorblind society.

Not too long ago, I saw Rosie O’Donnell and Angelica Houston on TV sticking up for Sandra Fluke, and pretending on Obama’s behalf that mandating contraception and abortion for employees of Catholic entities is not actually an infringement on religious freedom, but is all about women’s health.

In their discussion, they parroted the old line about men having no business being involved in women’s reproductive freedom.  Even if we ignore the fact that men are fathers, husbands, brothers and boyfriends, whose own lives will be greatly affected because of the decisions made by women, by what stretch of the imagination do these two women — one a 50 year old lesbian, the other a 60 year old who has all the reproductive freedom she could possibly want, thanks to Mother Nature — have commenting on things that don’t involve them?

I recently got word that over 50,000 people have been killed in Mexico over the past five years.  At about the same time, I learned that Malia Obama had been vacationing in Mexico with some of her school chums.

I must confess it surprised me that her mother, who seems overly concerned that your kids are eating an occasional cupcake, would send her child to a place that makes Kandahar seem as safe as Lincoln’s bedroom.

Then I heard that the kids were accompanied by 15 Secret Service agents!  That’s 15 –count them — 15!

The first thing that occurred to me was that I helped pay for that kid’s vacation.

The second thing that occurred to me was, like mother, like daughter.

 

Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky, who lives in the San Fernando Valley with his wife Yvonne and dog Angel, has a long and distinguished writing career that includes newspapers, magazines, and TV. He is also the author of “Conservatives Are From Mars, Liberals Are From San Francisco,” “Liberals: America’s Termites” and, recently, “Barack Obama, You’re Fired!” and a collection of interviews, “67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die,” which includes the likes of Paul Ryan, Newt Gingrich, Gary Sinise, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Michael Medved, Joseph Wambaugh, John Bolton, Lee Greenwood, Charles Krauthammer, Phyllis Shlafly, David Limbaugh, Bernard Goldberg, and the three Pats: Boone, Sajak, and Robertson.

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