Professor Obama Not Very Well-Liked As Semester Draws to A Close

| December 12 2011
Hannah Thoreson

The magic has ended for Obama. At the beginning of the semester, he was the charming, newly-hired lecturer that wore jeans instead of Dockers with puffy pleats in the front. But the results of the midterm have been posted, and they are not good. The remaining Democrats that did not fail out of Congress pretend not to even recognize him in the hallway. Even California, usually one of the most reliable students of Democratic party politics, is starting to complain that trillions of dollars of deficit spending and unemployment locally stuck at 12% weren’t on the syllabus they got at the beginning of the semester.

Horrible debt-ceiling projects kept most of the class up all night trying to calculate the velocity of a can being kicked down the road. Some said his disorganized, hands-off, last-minute approach to the assignment showed a lack of managerial ability. And why are Geithner, Holder, and Bernanke even still in this class? He should have just told them to drop it as soon as it became clear that they have no idea what they’re doing.

What’s worse is that it’s obvious that Professor Obama is just a total pushover. He extended the deadline on the Keystone XL pipeline until after the tenure committee meets. His friends believe he won’t stand up for real science in the face of popular pressure to do otherwise.

Even the people who signed up for this because it’s their part of their major and not just because everybody said the other guy was awful are starting to wonder where the passion is. He used to seem like his ideas were new and fresh, but now he just gets up and reads straight out of the standard liberal talking points textbook. Why even bother listening when he’s just repeating the same old information about ATMs destroying jobs? What is this, 1997?

Ugh, hopefully it will all be over after the final and we never have to see Professor Obama ever again.